What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
Do you know why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?
Because it's a gray area.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
They're calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
Mooning is very ASStrological
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
When you cross summer sun with summer pun you get summer fun.
Why these days, the Moon is up till so late? Don’t worry, it is just going through a phase.
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
A lunatic.
I would have gone to space, but the cost is astronomical!
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
There's this vampire who's more powerful than any other, because he can't be hurt by the sun
All other vampires pale in comparison.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
How will you save yourself if you come across an aggressive alien? Give him some space.
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
Why does no one trust the man on the moon?Why does no one trust the man on the moon?
Because he has a dark side!
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.
How will you come to know when the moon will go broke? It would happen when moon is down to its last quarter.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
I’m currently reading a book on anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put it down.