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Yourself

Thanksgiving Jokes
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?

You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
Animal Puns
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
Puns
I'm training to be an anesthetist, so I asked the head surgeon "Can I practice on my self first?"
He said "Sure, knock yourself out!"
One Liners and Short Jokes
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Alien Puns
How will you save yourself if you come across an aggressive alien? Give him some space.
Anti Jokes
How do you confuse a blond?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
Anti Pick Up Lines
Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
Why, because you can see yourself in my pants?
No, because I wanted to check how I look before I hit on your hot friend.
Pear Puns
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.

Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.

Child: Yea...

Dad: Then why is there only one?
Break Up Lines
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
Quotes
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
Oscar Wilde
“Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s drama, repeat these word: Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
Polish Proverb
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.”
Ethel Barrymore
Doctor Puns
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
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