Wooden Jokes

"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? it wooden go!
What do you call a cop with a wooden leg?
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