Wooden Jokes

I canโ€™t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that sheโ€™s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
โ€” Roald Dahl
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? it wooden go!
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
What do you call a cop with a wooden leg?
Officer.
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
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