Wooden Jokes

What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? it wooden go!
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
What do you call a cop with a wooden leg?
Officer.
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
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