This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
When I go to donate blood I expect a cup of tea, a biscuit and a polite word of thanks...
...not a whole lot of screaming, my bucket confiscated, and a cop asking me questions.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam. -- George Carlin
I'd rather live my whole life assuming there is a God, only to find out that there isn't, than to live my whole life assuming there isn't a God, only to find out there is. -- Peter Barry
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
“Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.”
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
In the Garden of Eden sat Adam
Complacently stroking his madam
And he thought with mirth
On the whole damned Earth
There were only two balls and HE had ’em.
My friend went on a date with a Cardio Nurse
His heart was racing the whole time.
Yesterday I paid a stranger to knock me unconscious,
shove a foreign object up my butt and film the whole thing!
Or as my doctor insists on calling it... a colonoscopy
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
Roses are red, potatoes are brown; you are my favorite spud in the whole town!