Under Jokes

My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Have you ever seen a guy eat an entire can of pinto beans in under 10 seconds? Would you like to?
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
You make me more excited than gifts under a Christmas tree.
"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up."
Ever wonder what's happening under Orion's belt?
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
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