Tend Jokes

Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of cats.
This phenomenon is known as many paws.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
People tend to compare aging to a bottle of wine.
You find yourself a little stout and round,
And dust may litter your behind.
Like the grapes that create a fine wine,
The fruits of your labor have become your wisom from age.
Timeless and valued beyond compare,
And the lable may need a bit of repair.
But unlucky for you,
None of this is true.
I wish I could say something better,
My friend, you have aged like cheddar.
A strawberry will never help another strawberry because they tend to always get into jams.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
A lot of people can't figure out the right way to dry their towels.
It's just something they tend to get hung up on.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
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