Tend Jokes

A strawberry will never help another strawberry because they tend to always get into jams.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
Short people tend to get angry quickly because they are so close to the ground their anger does not dissipate quickly.
People tend to hug your head more than your body.
When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of cats.
This phenomenon is known as many paws.
Police have arrested a man for having se* with fruit, but they suspect a second perpetrator may still be at large.
The inspector released a statement saying "These people do tend to cum in pears."
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
People tend to compare aging to a bottle of wine.
You find yourself a little stout and round,
And dust may litter your behind.
Like the grapes that create a fine wine,
The fruits of your labor have become your wisom from age.
Timeless and valued beyond compare,
And the lable may need a bit of repair.
But unlucky for you,
None of this is true.
I wish I could say something better,
My friend, you have aged like cheddar.
A lot of people can't figure out the right way to dry their towels.
It's just something they tend to get hung up on.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
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