Surgery

What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
“A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.”
Graham Norton
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
A Rather Generous Wife
A Rather Generous Wife A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?" "My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheeks."
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
People often stare at my back-alley cosmetic surgery to remove half of my brain...
I have half a mind to tell them where to go.
If anyone has any advice for cosmetic surgery that’s gone terribly wrong...
My wife is all ears.
A Weird Doctor Visit
A Weird Doctor Visit A beautiful young woman was about to undergo a minor operation. She was lying on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushed her trolley down the corridor towards the operating theater, where she left the woman on the trolley outside, while she went in to check whether everything was ready. A young man wearing a white coat approached her, lifted the sheet up and started examining her naked body. He put the sheet back and then walked away and talked to another man in a white coat. A second man came over, lifted the sheet and performed the same examinations. When a third man did the same thing, yet even more carefully, she began to grow impatient and blurted out: "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?" The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor."
If I had a dollar for every time someone said not to look directly at the eclipse...
I'd have enough money to pay for the eye surgery I need.
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
The Enviable Problem
The Enviable Problem When a man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician examined him and explained that, though rare, his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient's wife anxiously rushed up to the doctor after the examination and was told of the diagnosis and the need for surgery. "How long will he be on crutches?" she asked. "Crutches???" the doctor asked. "Well, yes," the woman said, "You are going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?"
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
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