Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
A twin complains to his mother, “ You said you didn’t have a favourite between me and Brian.”

We don’t darling,” replies his mother. “What would make you say such a thing?”

“Then why am I blowing up balloons for his surprise birthday party.”
Man says to his boss, "Can we talk? I have a problem."
Boss: "Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!"
Man: "Ok, I have a serious drinking opportunity."