Stolen. Stealing is bad and you should return it. Here are some of our favorite corny puns that are so bad they’re good.
There was an Old Person of Cheadle,
Who was put in the stocks by the beadle
For stealing some pigs,
Some coats, and some wigs,
That horrible person of Cheadle.
A Politician At the Chocolate Store
A Politician At the Chocolate Store Once upon a time there was a thief and a politician who were friends. One day, they entered a chocolate store. While they were busy looking around, the thief stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the thief said to the politician: "Man! I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me. You can't beat that." The politician replied: "You wanna see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing." So they went to the counter and politician said to the shopkeeper: "Hey do you wanna see magic?" The Shop keeper replied: "Sure!" The politician says: "Give me one chocolate bar!" The shop keeper gave him one, and he ate it. He asked for a second, and he ate that as well.. He asked a third, and finished that one too. The shop keeper asked: "But where's the magic?" The politician replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find it!"
What's worst than Elin Nordegren smashing your face in with a 9 iron? Lorena Bobbit stealing your putter!
The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games.
But that's a Risk I'm willing to take.
What did the Cat burglar say when he was caught stealing from a French art museum?
I did it for the Monet.
Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.
For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.

Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases stealing each other's methods, committing plague-iarism.
The only crime I will ever commit is stealing your heart.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.