Sometimes Jokes

Sometimes we eat when we’re hungry
Or else when we’re just in the mood,
But everyone’s habits are different
In how we relate to our food.

There are 3 meals-a-day folk as well as
The ones who skip breakfast or lunch
And grazers who nibble for most of the day
Or snackers who in-between munch.

There are people with junk food addictions
And those who shun pork, beef or fish,
While the gluten or carb-free among us
Pay attention to what’s in each dish.

As for sweets, that’s a whole other story –
When you think about ice cream or pie
Or the various candies and chocolates
Without which some could never get by.

Just consider your own way of eating
With the foods you enjoy or you sneak
And you’ll realize, if you broach the subject,
That our diets are all most unique!

(Ilene Bauer)
How to spell the potato has tried
Many minds, sometimes mine, I’ll confide.
Though it may have an eye,
There’s no E – don’t ask why!
Not until it’s been baked, boiled or fried.
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
“Marriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmates.”—Rory Elder
“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.”—Dr. Joyce Brothers
“One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes, I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom too?’”—Michelle Obama
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
“Nurse: handing me a newborn You got this? Me: Sometimes I have to dig through the trash to re-read the instructions for mac ‘n’ cheese” – @mommy_cusses
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
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