Showed Jokes

My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
When the time came, he betrayed our team and showed his blue colors.
I was astonished when my shirt's color changed from red to pink after a wash. Guess it showed me its true colors.
I showed up late to a cannibal party.
I got the cold shoulder.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
I showed my mom my report card, she said that she needed to see more A's
My wife showed me two of her mother’s quilts and asked me which one I preferred.
I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
What happened to the cheery that showed up for the tomato auditions? He was called an imposter.
My Spotify sucks. It showed me the hottest singles, and missed you out!
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
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