Seen Jokes

“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”

- John Steinbeck.
Have you ever seen a guy eat an entire can of pinto beans in under 10 seconds? Would you like to?
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”- St Elmo's Fire
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl...
I said I didn't even know he could play.
Will glass coffins ever become popular?
This remains to be seen.
"Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again."
- Henry Beard
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Have you seen any linking verbs around here? Because you are my complement and I want to connect.
“Best friends know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
— Unknown
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.

(Kim Merryman)
I’ve never seen stars as beautiful as your eyes.
Haven’t I seen you before? Maybe in my dreams?
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