“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”
Dave Barry
“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”
William James
“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
Helen Rowland
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Do you know what it's called when you see the sun, the moon and the stars all at the same time?
Really good acid.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
What girl likes it in all her holes at the same time?
Mrs. Potato Head.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? To get to the same side.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
Why doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job? He still ends up with the same boss.
Easter and April Fools fall on the same day this year...
You could say it only happens once in a blue moon.
Roses are red,
Relationships are tough,
The reason I love you,
Is we hate the same stuff.
On the Breast of a woman named Gale
was tattooed the price of her tail
and on her behind
for the sake of the blind
was the same information in braille.