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Refused Jokes

One Liners and Short Jokes
My girlfriend tried to make me have se* on the hood of her Honda Civic…
But I refused. If I’m going to have se*, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Theater Puns
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Meat Puns
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Puns
When I refused to buy her concert tickets for the weekend, my 15 year old daughter broke down and threatened to cry a river.
I told her to go ahead, but remember that she's so self absorbed the tears won't even make it to her cheeks.
Train Puns
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
Zombie Puns
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Pea Puns
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
Heart Puns
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
River Puns
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
Bible Puns
As a school project, we wanted to perform a Jesus play
but the only guy who had the traditional famous Jesus look had blond hair.
We begged him to dye it black, but he refused.
After explaining it to his parents, they agreed to let their son dye for our scenes.
Beach Puns
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
Rabbit Puns
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
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