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Pressure Jokes

Kitchen Puns
Cooking is bad for my anxiety.
I had to throw away my pressure cooker.
Pear Puns
My wife was trying to feed our son a pear, and he was refusing.
I said, Good news. Our son is immune to pear pressure.
What do you call a pear in a compressor?
Pear pressure!
Beach Puns
Avoid pier pressure.
Astronaut Puns
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
One Liners and Short Jokes
At a recent job interview, the hiring manager
asked me if I can perform under pressure.
I said: "No, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody."
Juice Puns
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
Strawberry Puns
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
Art Puns
Artists know how to draw the line, so you can't really peer pressure them.
Orange Puns
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
River Puns
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Funny Aging Quotes
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
Diving Puns
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
Funny Work Quotes
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
Sky Puns
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
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