Piece

My favourite piece in chess is the rook
It is the most straight-forward.
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
A guy walks into the doctors office complaining of rectal pain, upon examination, the doctor exclaims "Buddy, theres a piece of lettuce coming out of your butt!"
The guy looks to the doctor and says "thats only the tip of the iceburg!"
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
Every piece of you is sweet.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys an extra case of beer. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man. Why did God give men penises? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
What do you call a Roman soldier with a smile on his face and a piece of hair between his two front teeth? A GLAD-HE-ATE-HER
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
Sigmund Freud used to always wear a piece of jewelry on his wrist...
It was an id bracelet.
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”
Erma Bombeck
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