Past Jokes

My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
How about I slip down your chimney at half past midnight?
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
Fifty is ten past forty
Age is but a number and counting time tends to bore me.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
France gave perfumes to countries it dominated in the past...
That was classic Colognialism.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia...
Never marry an archaeologist!
They're always digging up the past.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Can I slip one past your goalie?
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
I'm sorry I wasn't around in the past. Can I be part of your future?
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