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Saw my dad outside with a tv antenna on his head
When I asked him why, he said he was trying to get more in tune with nature.
Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees.
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
Hey Steve, do you shower after sex?
Well yes Bob, I do.
Great, can you please get laid more often?
Easter is grammatically incorrect.
We should say more east.
What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism?
No more jokes about the profit.
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
What do you call a Guy who Masterbates more than twice a day? A Terrorwrist
My boyfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate.
Now I have two boyfriends.
My blind friend did LSD for the first time...
There was a lot more tripping than usual.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
If you took all the people in the world who fall asleep during church, and laid them head to toe in a straight line
They would all be a lot more comfortable.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. "You mean martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, "Slow down there! I'll let you know when I want more."
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