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Matter Jokes

If I Had a Dollar... Jokes
If I had a dollar for every time I had an existential crisis...
Would it even matter?
Food Poems
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.

(Kim Merryman)
Food Quotes
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
Christian Pick Up Lines
My love for you is like a fruitcake during the holidays - nutty, spicy and unavoidable, no matter how hard you try.
Funny Aging Quotes
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
Giant Puns
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Garden Quotes
Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
— Author Unknown
Language Pick Up Lines
If you were a sentence, I'd be the punctuation mark because I'd always follow you no matter what.
Clothes Pick Up Lines
That Marchesa dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
Funny Animal Quotes
“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." - Abraham Lincoln
Funny Money Quotes
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
Spotify Pick Up Lines
Girl you're like my favorite Spotify playlist... No matter how much I wander I'd always come back to you.
Space Pick Up Lines
Hey baby, are you made up of dark matter? Because you’re indescribable.
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