Matter Jokes

Hey baby, are you made up of dark matter? Because you’re indescribable.
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
That Marchesa dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Girl you're like my favorite Spotify playlist... No matter how much I wander I'd always come back to you.
If you were a sentence, I'd be the punctuation mark because I'd always follow you no matter what.
If I had a dollar for every time I had an existential crisis...
Would it even matter?
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
— Author Unknown
“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." - Abraham Lincoln
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.

(Kim Merryman)
My love for you is like a fruitcake during the holidays - nutty, spicy and unavoidable, no matter how hard you try.
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