Matter Jokes

If you were a sentence, I'd be the punctuation mark because I'd always follow you no matter what.
Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it
โ€” Author Unknown
Girl you're like my favorite Spotify playlist... No matter how much I wander I'd always come back to you.
โ€œIt doesnโ€™t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.โ€ ~ Anonymous
โ€œNo matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.โ€ โ€” H. Jackson Brown Jr.
โ€œIt doesnโ€™t matter if youโ€™re black or whiteโ€ฆ the only color that really matters is green.โ€ โ€“ Family Guy
Hey baby, are you made up of dark matter? Because youโ€™re indescribable.
โ€œNo matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." - Abraham Lincoln
"Age is something that doesnโ€™t matter, unless you are a cheese." โ€“ Billie Burke
If I had a dollar for every time I had an existential crisis...
Would it even matter?
My love for you is like a fruitcake during the holidays - nutty, spicy and unavoidable, no matter how hard you try.
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.

(Kim Merryman)
That Marchesa dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
โ€” Unknown
I donโ€™t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy Iโ€™ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
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