Loose Jokes

What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
I bought a parrot but he has a foul mouth.
I let him loose so that he could fly South.
But he came home again.
This proves that I can't win.
He says the F word two hundred times a day.
He offends everybody and drives them away.
Nobody will take this bird even though I offer to pay them.
I'm going out of my mind, it looks like I'm stuck with him.
I have the only parrot on Earth that's a sinner.
If he doesn't shut up, he's going to be my dinner.
What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke?
“You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.”
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
I heard there is a vampire on the loose, you better stay with me.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack‬
What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? A loose Canon.
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?
They both create loose stools.
What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke?
“You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.”
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