Loose Jokes

How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?
They both create loose stools.
I heard there is a vampire on the loose, you better stay with me.
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke?
“You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.”
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
I bought a parrot but he has a foul mouth.
I let him loose so that he could fly South.
But he came home again.
This proves that I can't win.
He says the F word two hundred times a day.
He offends everybody and drives them away.
Nobody will take this bird even though I offer to pay them.
I'm going out of my mind, it looks like I'm stuck with him.
I have the only parrot on Earth that's a sinner.
If he doesn't shut up, he's going to be my dinner.
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? A loose Canon.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack‬
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke?
“You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.”
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy