Looked

Guess what I saw today. Everything I looked at.
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
Roses aren’t red,
Violets are gray,
Ever since I looked at the sun,
It's been a bad day.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said ....
You know, one would have been enough.
If Princess Toad looked liked you, I would have killed Bowser years ago.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.
. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,

“Nobody puts baby in a coroner.”
My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said ....
You know, one would have been enough.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."