Its Jokes

I know I’m not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but one glance at you and I’m already interested.
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in a frying pan?
Take away its tiny brooms
I saw a squirrel running in circles in my yard today…
I think it lost its nuts.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Your smile must be a black hole. Nothing can escape its pull.
Baby, you make my rover raise its mast into a vertical position.
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
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