Internet Jokes

I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
The Smartphone Poem My new phone is "smart." I guess that I'm not. Amazing what all this here smart phone has got. TV and Weather and Internet, too. There's just no limits to what it can do. Check my blood pressure and my temperature Without even probing all my apertures. I now know the time in Paris or Greece. I can track the migration of thousands of geese Or find Chinese food; it's here on this map. Oops, my finger just slipped, now where was that at? A camera...a CAMERA! Now I can take shots Of everyone I know (who'd rather I not). Push this here button and take me a "selfie." (If it had a nose would this thing take a "smellfie"?) Email to pester with, video to shoot, Maps to drive 'round with, wow that's a hoot! A compass to guide me home if I'm lost. Thank God work paid for this thing (what it COSTS!). The things that it does would amaze Mr. Bell. What he would have thought of it, no one can tell, But one question's still stuck in my middle-aged craw. Despite all the gizmos that strike me with awe, They're fun and they're useful and "techy" and all ...But how do I just simply make a phone call?
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
John commented, "You are so tall that you eat food out of a satellite dish". I replied, "Imagine how fast my internet is!"
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,

Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.

Sincerely, your service provider.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet
I asked my 15 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
Will Ferrell
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
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