Humans Jokes

“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”

- John Steinbeck.
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."

- Marilyn Monroe
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
Tell me of this thing you humans call... (dramatic pause) love.
"Do you like computers?" (yes.) "Do you like file sharing?" (yes) "Good, 'cause I'm downloadable and user friendly!"
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Wine improves with Humans improve with wine.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
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