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Humans Jokes

Funny Animal Quotes
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”

- John Steinbeck.
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."

- Marilyn Monroe
Brain Puns
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Birthday Jokes
Wine improves with Humans improve with wine.
Gorilla Puns
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Pea Puns
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
AC Unit Puns
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Monkey Puns
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Dolphin Puns
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
Gnome Puns
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Unicorn Puns
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
Tell me of this thing you humans call... (dramatic pause) love.
"Do you like computers?" (yes.) "Do you like file sharing?" (yes) "Good, 'cause I'm downloadable and user friendly!"
Lightning Puns
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
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