Gonna Jokes

“If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans. Sorry, giraffe, but I gotta do what's best for me."
- Amber Tozer
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
“A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I’m gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens.”
— LeAnn Rimes
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
I was gonna walk barefoot through the yard.
But that would cause an ecological crisis.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
You must be the iceberg from Titanic and I'm the ship because tonight we're gonna smash.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
Try to take a tiger from his daddy's side, That's how love gonna keep us tied
Baby I'm gonna teach you what love's all about tonight
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
Call me AC/DC, because I'm gonna rock you all night long!
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
She had so many chances
Yet she kept muffin it up
Butter intentions were good
Just not much coffee in her cup

Couldn’t make a good decision
Too much waffling back and forth
Always peppered with doubt
Should she head south, no maybe north

Still, she was fun at a party
I would say, hummus a tune
She’d say, Icing because I’m happy
As the words began to croon

Maybe that’s what’s most important
Omelet let her off the hook
So she’s always in a pickle
Doesn’t do things by the book

Once again, I’m gonna help her
Since she is such a good egg
I said, girl, you’d go much farther
If you weren’t such a nut Meg

(Mike Gentile)
“No matter how much time you spend reading books or following your intuition, you’re gonna screw it up. Fifty times. You can’t do parenting right.”

- Alan Arkin.
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