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Fly

A fly fell down out of nowhere on my wrist
It died on my watch.
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.
. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,

“Nobody puts baby in a coroner.”
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
The Jewish Samurai
The Jewish Samurai Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai. "Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor. The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two! "What a feat!" said the Emperor. "Number Two Samurai, show me what you do." The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish! *Swish!* The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered. "That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?" The Jewish samurai, Yoku Cohen, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoosh!* flourished his sword mightily, but the fly was still buzzing around! In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that?? The fly isn't even dead." "Dead?" replied Cohen in contempt. "Dead is easy. Now circumcision, that takes skill."
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
How does santa get his Reindeer to fly? He uses Red Bull because it gives you wings!
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a ‘V’ formation, one line is always longer than the other? That's because there are more geese in that line.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Fly like a butterfly sting like a bee I slept with yo mama now it burns when I pee.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.