Flat Jokes

I'm very proud of my family for owning such a musical property.
We live in A flat.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment.
It’s a little flat.
I was serving my friend a roast in my tiny shoebox apartment. He boasted that he could cook the same dish in a mere two hours...
But I cooked it in a minute flat.
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