Figures Jokes

The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
I got a job crafting toy models of the dwarves from Snow White.
The pay sucks, but I'm not lying when I tell people I make seven figures.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
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