Fat Jokes

What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
It doesn't matter whether you are tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor; at the end of the day...
It's night.
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
I like my women like I like my ice cream, fat free and dripping down my fingers.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"

The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens!
Thou art as fat as butter.
Peace, ye fat guts!
I can love you more than a cowboy loves a fat calf.
Starts off in the morning, wakes up at six,
Grooms itself using its tongue and licks.
I give it breakfast with a friendly pat.
That's the daily morning of my cat.

Returns for lunch at one o' clock.
Eats milk rice and then goes for a walk.
Sometimes even hunts and catches a rat.
That's the daily afternoon of my cat.

Naps after lunch outside my door.
Sleeps so deeply, perhaps even snores.
Doesn't like the ground; it prefers a mat.
That's the daily evening of my cat.

Wakes up refreshed and comes for dinner.
Does it eat too much? Shouldn't it be thinner?
Eats and sleeps - hope it doesn't get fat.
That's the daily night of my cat.

(M. Tarun Prasad)
I have a cat
A real fat cat
My cat is all black
My black fat cat
It is a cat with a knack
A true fact about my cat
My fat black cat
She has a knack to catch a rat
My all black cat brought me the rat
This is why my cat is a fat black cat
So rats watch your back
From my cat with the knack
Or you will become a snack for my fat black cat

(Colleen Laforme)
My fat parrot escaped from its cage... To be honest, it's a weight off my shoulders!
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