Excellent Jokes

“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.” —Dave Barry
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
An Irishman, a Chinaman and an American all walk into a bar. This is an excellent example of integrated community.
My wife sighed, “Why does everything have to be a game with you?”
I replied, “An excellent question, my dear. But next time, please use the buzzer!”
How rare is an excellent father?
Legen-daddy
We’re not socks, but we make an excellent pair.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business.
He made some excellent points.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
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