Exactly Jokes

Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
Today I went to my doctor.
I walked in and said:" Hello I have pain in my lower body."
He asked where exactly.
I said at my entrance.

He said as long as I call it my entrance it will continue to hurt.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
Therapist: You have acute marriage phobia. Do you understand the symptoms?
Me: Can’t say that I do.
Therapist: Exactly. That’s the main one.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
In exactly 3030 years, there's a chance things could be really good, and theres a chance things could be really bad.
I guess it will be 5050.
"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass." - Mac MacGuff in Juno
“My wife is a psychologist… Not only does she know when I’m being a jerk, but she knows exactly what type of jerk I’m being.”—Lee Judge
Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?
“Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.”- James Arthur Baldwin
Did you know there are exactly 239 beans in Irish stew?
Any more and it would be two farty...
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