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Earlier Jokes

Chuck Norris Jokes
Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..
..then I realized he was aborted.
Head Puns
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Laundry Puns
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
Toilet Puns
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
Running Puns
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
Jokes For Women
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
Spotify Pick Up Lines
Did you see the glitch earlier? You weren’t listed as the top hottest single.
Bathroom Puns
My wife was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, “Should I buy new beach towels?”
I wrote back, “Shore.”
Bread Puns
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
River Puns
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
Egg Puns
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
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