Double Jokes

What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user...
Help desk: Double click on "My Computer".
Lady: I can't see your computer...
Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer.
Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?!
Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it...
Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
โ€œThe safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.โ€ โ€“ Kin Hubbard
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
โ€” Niles Crane
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Want to ge together sometime and make Double Trouble?
A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
In grammar you shouldnโ€™t do double negatives.
Itโ€™s a no no.
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