Jokes > Tags > Day

Day

All day I thought of you... I was at the zoo.
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine - I only get better with age.
The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
A third-grade teacher is getting to know her pupils on the first day of school.
She turns to one little girl and says, ‘And what does your daddy do?’
The girl replies, ‘Whatever Mummy tells him to.’
A woman inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted."
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Irish!
Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.
'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny.
'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.'
Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever.
'Now what is it ?' asked his dad.
'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
There once was a man from Pompeii
One day made a wife out of clay
But the heat from his prick
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away!
There was an Old Man with a gong,
Who bumped at it all day long.
But they called out, no more,
You're a horrid old bore,
So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.
She followed her nose,
One day, I suppose,
And no one knows which way she went.
There was a young lady named Rose,
Who had a large wart on her nose.
When she had it removed,
Her appearance improved,
But her glasses slipped down to her toes.
There once was a man stuck in a stall,
He tried to get out but would fall.
One day a man flushed,
The fat man just blushed,
And quickly ran out of the mall.
There was a young woman named Bright,
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day,
In a relative way,
and returned on the previous night.
There was an Old Man, on whose nose,
Most birds of the air could repose;
But they all flew away
At the closing of day,
Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
What did snow white say when she came out of the photo booth?
Some day my prints will come.