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Control Jokes

Greece Puns
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
Yard Puns
Someone randomly dropped off a bull in my neighborโ€™s yard, but animal control picked it up before she got home.
She would have had a cow.
Troll Puns
What do you call a troll thatโ€™s in charge?
In control.
TV Puns
I hid the control for the TV
Iโ€™m not even remotely sorry.
Animal Pick Up Lines
Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control cause I just saw a fox!
Medieval Puns
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
History Puns
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
Ancient Greek Monster Puns
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Keyboard Puns
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Friendship Quotes
โ€œWhenever Iโ€™m sad, youโ€™re there. Whenever Iโ€™m having problems you are always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you are always there. Letโ€™s face it. You are bad luck.โ€
โ€” Unknown
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him."
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