Control

My friend wasn't accepted for a teaching job because he was cross-eyed
They thought he wouldn't be able to control his pupils.
What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? A loose Canon.
A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils!
Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils?
Funny Poems Page 1

One evening I wrote to John and I guess I was expressing my frustrations with not having enough time as I had a briefcase full of work to do that evening. Jaymac, in his wisdom, sent me back the following funny but inspirational poem:

Briefcase with an Engine
Poet: John McLeod

Fit your briefcase with an engine
Go skateboarding in the sun
Loop the loop, do aerobatics,
Laugh a lot and have great fun!

'Cook a snook' at paper empires
Save a forest, every tree
And remember, above all,
To do it happily!

It reminded me life is too short to let work frustrate me. Reading John's words of wisdom helped relieve my stress as I found myself smiling when I finished reading the poem. And, smiling and laughing is a great stress reliever!

Many times during my career I let my work control my life. Looking back at the times where I allowed my work to create stress and frustration in my life I now realize what I thought was important really was not. I am not say
Doctor, I keep peeing my pants! What can I do?
Urologist: “It’s mind over matter, urine control.”
Roses are red. Nuts are round. Skirts go up. Panties go down. Belly to belly. Skin to skin. When it's stiff, stick it in. se*, drugs, rock & roll; speed, weed, & birth control. Life's a bitch and then you die, so f**k the world and lets get high.
I have no shelf control.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without the kids.
Why couldn't the man 3D printing his face control his excitement?
He was getting a head of himself
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
What's the best way to force a male to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
How do you stop a man from raping you? Throw him the remote control.