Considered Jokes

"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns
“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally.
The police get mad at me because that’s apparently considered “kleptomania.”
In my grandparents time, an orange was considered a treat from Santa. Now kids want an apple.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
What is considered the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has so many stories.
“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.”—Dr. Joyce Brothers
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
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