Consider Jokes

My grandparents disowned me after I joined the trades as a brick-layer.
They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.
My wife said she wants me to consider purchasing a decent telescope for the family to use.
I told her I’d look into it.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.”
Joan Rivers
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
“An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.”
— Cora Lea Bell
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
Sometimes we eat when we’re hungry
Or else when we’re just in the mood,
But everyone’s habits are different
In how we relate to our food.

There are 3 meals-a-day folk as well as
The ones who skip breakfast or lunch
And grazers who nibble for most of the day
Or snackers who in-between munch.

There are people with junk food addictions
And those who shun pork, beef or fish,
While the gluten or carb-free among us
Pay attention to what’s in each dish.

As for sweets, that’s a whole other story –
When you think about ice cream or pie
Or the various candies and chocolates
Without which some could never get by.

Just consider your own way of eating
With the foods you enjoy or you sneak
And you’ll realize, if you broach the subject,
That our diets are all most unique!

(Ilene Bauer)
Some folks came to my door this morning and asked if I would consider being a Jehovah's Witness.
I had to be honest and told them I hadn't seen the accident.
You can crawl into tight spaces like all those little rodents. You should consider it your super power.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A pizza and a six pack.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
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