Comes Jokes

Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
A centipede was happy quite,
Until a frog in fun
Said, “Pray, which leg comes after which?”
This raised her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in the ditch
Considering how to run.
Starts off in the morning, wakes up at six,
Grooms itself using its tongue and licks.
I give it breakfast with a friendly pat.
That's the daily morning of my cat.

Returns for lunch at one o' clock.
Eats milk rice and then goes for a walk.
Sometimes even hunts and catches a rat.
That's the daily afternoon of my cat.

Naps after lunch outside my door.
Sleeps so deeply, perhaps even snores.
Doesn't like the ground; it prefers a mat.
That's the daily evening of my cat.

Wakes up refreshed and comes for dinner.
Does it eat too much? Shouldn't it be thinner?
Eats and sleeps - hope it doesn't get fat.
That's the daily night of my cat.

(M. Tarun Prasad)
Black and white
Thick and furry
Fast as the wind
Always in a hurry
Couple of spots
Rub my ears
Always comes when his name he hears
Loves his ball; it's his favorite thing
What's most fun for him? Everything!
Great big tongue that licks my face
Has a crate, his very own space
Big brown eyes like moon pies
He's my friend till the very end!

(Abby Jenkins)
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.​” — Stanley J. Randall
Here comes the sun of my life
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.” - Edmund Stockdale
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
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