Charged Jokes

One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall."
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Why did the credit card go to jail? It was guilty as charged.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
I wanted to buy a $30 meal for my father, my grandfather and father-in-law. I figured they'd lump em all together and charge a reduced fee.
But no, I was charged $30 a pop.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
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