Catch

I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
King's Crustation.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
A Blonde in Louisiana
A Blonde in Louisiana A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist