Catch Jokes

I have a cat
A real fat cat
My cat is all black
My black fat cat
It is a cat with a knack
A true fact about my cat
My fat black cat
She has a knack to catch a rat
My all black cat brought me the rat
This is why my cat is a fat black cat
So rats watch your back
From my cat with the knack
Or you will become a snack for my fat black cat

(Colleen Laforme)
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
"Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets." - Joginder Singh
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
A Blonde in Louisiana A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
“Parenting is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time.” — Anonymous
Hide in the kitchen, hide in the hall. I will catch you.
My wife got mad at me for playing catch with my son in the backyard
... I didn’t see the big deal until I dropped him.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
You're quite the catch, baby.
You're a Catch Worthy of a Gold Glove
I’m a man at a farmers' market. Of course, I’m a catch.
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