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Being

Clever Jokes
People often accuse me of "stealing other's jokes" and being "a plagiarist." Their words not mine.
Corona Virus Jokes
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Quotes
“Thank you, 2:30 in the morning, for always being the first sign that tomorrow’s gonna suck.”
Jimmy Fallon
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
W. C. Fields
“Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s drama, repeat these word: Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
Polish Proverb
Head Puns
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
Medical Puns
What did the Power Ranger say after being sent to the hospital?
It's morphine time.
Blonde Jokes
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
Fruit Puns
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
Skeleton Puns
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
Jokes For Women
Why did Dorothy get lost on her way to the Emerald City? Becuase she was being led by three boys
One Liners and Short Jokes
I told my doctor I was paranoid my life was being filmed.
He told me to take one, action.
My wife accused me of being a transvestite.
So I packed her things and left.
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