Asked

My boyfriend asked me if I wanted a threesome which of his friends I'd choose.
I shouldn't have named two.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"

She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"

I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long
He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in the crematorium wall.
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Preparing.”
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."