If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to get me to join a pyramid scheme… Then two of my friends would have a dollar and two of their friends EACH would have had two dollars. And the guy above them? He’d get tons of dollars.

Hair Puns

Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.

Twinkle Twinkle Funny Poems

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
(Lewis Carroll)

AC Unit Puns

My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.

Soap Puns

My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...
That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.

Onion Puns

Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.

Funny Tall People Insults & Comebacks

When my friends joked about my height in class, I replied, "At least, sums do not go above my head!"

While visiting an airport, my friend asked me to duck when a plane went above our heads.

I whispered back when someone made fun of my height. When he asked what I said, I replied, "Whatever I said went literally above your head".

Tableware Puns

So my daughter is calling me all excited. I come by her room to her holding her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."
"I'm breathing underwater."

River Puns

The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.

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