An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy..' She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.' The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

A farmer hires a new hand. He looks a little slow, but strong as an ox. He tells him "Toss these hay bales in the tractor", and he does, no problem. He tells him "Put these fence posts into the dirt", and he mallets them in faster than the farmer ever had. He then trusted the young man enough to take care of the toughest task on the farm. "Hold down the cow and insert this suppository. It's for Mad Cow disease." and hands him a pill the size of a red bull can. 10 minutes later, looking worn out and wobbly on his feet, the farmhand returns. "Haha Did Ol Bess put up a fight?", asked the farmer with a grin. "No...'", the young man said, concernedly, "...she just stared at me like I was crazy. But that pill hurt like the dickens!"