A man wakes up in a hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and the paramedics couldn't find it.”
The man groans, but the doctor goes on… "You do have $19,000 in insurance compensation coming though, and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $2,000 an inch. The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit uncomfortable. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed." He said with a smile.
The doctor comes back the next day and saw the man standing a little crestfallen.
"So, have you spoken with your wife?” He asked him.
"Yes I have," said the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?”
"Yes," said the man. "We're getting a new kitchen.''
Joke: The Sad Husband and the Curious Wife
A guy comes home from work and he is clearly upset.
Reduce Your Drug Prices By Following These Effective Tips
Cutting back on pharmaceutical costs can appear to be a real challenge at times. These few simple tips can really help you in that regard.
Joke: 5 Surgeons Have a Discussion...
This joke begins with a group of surgeons having a discussion...
Joke: Two Roofers in a Fix
Two roofers are working on the roof of a barn when a slight mishap means that they knock the ladder over. Fortunately, there's another way down...
The Return of James Veitch and His Crusade Against Emails
"You should never open mail that isn't yours", James Veitch warns as he proceeds to open and reply to emails that weren't meant for him!
HILARIOUS: These Pets are Real Drama Queens!
Just like humans, some pets throw tantrums when they want attention. Just look at these 12 hilarious four-legged drama queens.
20 Not-So-Scary Horror-Themed Comics That Had Us Chuckling
Enjoy these hilarious one-frame comics by Mark Parisi that depict horror movies in parallel universes.
Language Humor: 15 Hilariously Bad Translation Fails
Translation isn’t for everyone and these pictures show exactly why.
Uproarious: Please Don't Sit Next to Me, Mr. Bean!
Mr. Bean is back, and this time he's on a plane trying to cheer up a young boy who is feeling a little sick. The results are of course hilarious!
Wives of Rival Politicians Fight on the Carol Burnett Show
This clip from the Carol Burnett show follows the wives of two rival politicians, who are friends in one minute and enemies the next!
These Hilarious Signs Were Totally Unnecessary
Here are 12 photos that really capture the silly side of humanity!
The Lighter Side of Love: 18 Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes
Love is a serious matter, but it’s good to have some humor about it sometimes.
These Cartoons Will Make You Laugh and Think...
This artist has an incredible knack for capturing the ironies and paradoxes arising from the use of technology in the modern world. View his illustrations here.
What the Heck Was Going On in These 25 Photographs!
Sometimes you just have to throw you hands up and ask: 'what the hell are all these people in the photos were thinking?'
These Dumb Actions By People Will Leave You Aghast
Some people do things that simply leave you scratching your head - and make you laugh. Take a look at 22 pictures of the dumbest actions you'll ever see.
20 Hilarious One-Panel Comics Loaded Witty Humor
Artist Jimmy Craig’s humorous comics deliver the laughs in a single panel.
Hilarious: A Punny Sign Collection!
What could be better than a mixture of funny signs and clever puns? If that sounds intriguing, you simply must check out these hilarious signs!
Funny Jokes: And then the Fight Started...
The jokes in this collection all have a common theme - how to start a fight with your spouse!
We Can’t Stop Laughing At These Silly Signs
These are some of the most ridiculous signs we've come across.
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown's Having a VERY Weird Day...
Mrs. Brown will give you a big grin with another hilarious scene.
Caution! These Ridiculous Signs Will Make You Laugh!
Many caution signs can be redundant or plain weird. Here are 25 such caution signs that will have you either laughing or scratching you head
Hilarious! These Overly Dramatic Cats Deserve an Oscar...
Which of these hilarious cat expressions made you laugh most?
These One Liners Will Put a Smile on Your Face, Guaranteed!
A collection of crazy and unexpectedly hilarious jokes.
The Funny Side of Having Too Much Technology...
It's crazy to think about how most of us have become attached to our cellphones, but there's a funny side to the whole thing. Take a look at these memes.
These Vintage Cartoons Will Make You Scream With Laughter!
If you're looking for a good laugh, then these snarky vintage illustrations by artist Anne Taitor have certainly got your covered!
FUNNY: Do These Engineers KNOW What They're Doing?
This hilarious collection is all about engineering fails, construction mistakes and silly designs. Take a look for yourself!
20 Chucklesome Road Signs Worth Stopping For
Someone in Colorado is putting hilariously punny road signs, and we can’t stop laughing!
Classic Comedy: The Most Hilarious Breakfast Ever Made...
This is one of the funniest comedy sketches of all time, in my opinion. Because when it comes to breakfast, timing is everything.
Funny: These Kids' Christmas Letters Will Make You Chuckle!
Kids are known for speaking their mind, and are extremely forthright when it comes to making requests. Here are some funny and cute Santa letters from kids.
Hilarious: Then DIY Goes Ridiculously Wrong...
The world is full of wonderful workmanship, but you won't see any of that here. This is a collection of the very worst of man's DIY, construction efforts!
Hilarious: These Cat Comics are Just What I Needed...
These hilarious one-panel comics perfectly illustrate the life of cats.
These Funny Restaurant Signs Will Have You Guffawing
The iconic Tex-Mex restaurant, El Arroyo is back with some more hilariously clever signs.
Hilarious! These Kids Should Have Never Been Left Alone
What do your grandchildren get up to when they are left alone? Find out here!
Mark Twain Had a Lot to Say About Almost Everything
Mark Twain is one of the most famous writers in American history. He was known for his dark wit and humor, and his quotes still inspire people today.
Hilarious: Some Guys REALLY Think Outside the Box...
Here are some of my favorite examples of male creativity at work.
You Won't Believe What This Little Old Lady Gets Up To...
This hilarious prank involves a sweet old lady pretending to deal drugs in large quantities in a public park...
These Dogs Clearly Overestimated Their Physical Abilities...
Watch the hilarious video collection of dogs who fail at being dogs.
Watch Out! Cats Have Taken Over Supermarkets Everywhere!
These sweet and funny pictures of cats in supermarkets will warm your heart.
These Funny Photos Show Victorian Era in a Different Light!
Most images we see from the early days of photography are austere and often bleak. Yet these photographs show the reality. People were cheeky, funny and happy!
Collection: The Most Hilarious and Bizarre Signs
his wonderful collection will make you laugh out loud as we present you with some of the funniest signs you've ever seen!
And the Award for the WEIRDEST Subway Passenger Goes To...
Riding the subway is worth it just to encounter these passengers.
HILARIOUS: What Would You Do If You Saw This Happening?
What would you do if you saw a scene like this? It's hilarious to see how the people in this video react to what they see going on in front of them!
This Christmas, Spend Some Laughs with Mr. Bean
Enjoy your Christmas with this hilarious Mr. Bean episode.