A man wakes up in a hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and the paramedics couldn't find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on… "You do have $19,000 in insurance compensation coming though, and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $2,000 an inch. The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit uncomfortable. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed." He said with a smile.
The doctor comes back the next day and saw the man standing a little crestfallen.
"So, have you spoken with your wife?” He asked him.
"Yes I have," said the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?”
"Yes," said the man. "We're getting a new kitchen.''
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These are the most ludicrous and unnecessary signs I have ever seen in my life. Laugh at the bonkers things we are told to do by these ubiquitous notices.
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Prank Compilation: The Funniest Pranks & Scares of 2024!
sit back and enjoy the ultimate compilation of laugh-out-loud pranks and jaw-dropping reactions from the past year!
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Funny Pranks: The Ultimate Collection of Halloween Scares!
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17 Times Translations Went Completely Off the Rails
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17 Unforgettable Oddities Found Only in Russia
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These cats hiding in planters is absolutely hilarious!
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There's no doubting that moms and dads are different, and these hilarious pictures definitely back up that notion. Here are 15 differences between Mom and Dad.
These Unintentionally Funny Signs Are Comedy Gold
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COMEDY CLASSICS: A Side-Splitting Laurel & Hardy Adventure
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Need a Giggle? These 18 Cartoons Have You Covered!
Get ready for some hearty laughs with these hilarious comics by legendary cartoonist Mark Parisi.
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