A man wakes up in a hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and the paramedics couldn't find it.”
The man groans, but the doctor goes on… "You do have $19,000 in insurance compensation coming though, and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $2,000 an inch. The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit uncomfortable. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed." He said with a smile.
The doctor comes back the next day and saw the man standing a little crestfallen.
"So, have you spoken with your wife?” He asked him.
"Yes I have," said the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?”
"Yes," said the man. "We're getting a new kitchen.''
The CHEERFUL Side of Hospitals in 14 Pictures
Who says a hospital is a scary and dull place? Check out these pictures showing the cheerful side of hospitals.
Joke: Doctor, What Do I Have?
A man returns from a foreign holiday and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo tests.
What's it Like Caring for Mentally Ill Criminals?
"The Voices Are Telling me to Kill You." Listen as past nurse Paul Deacon tells us what it's like working at a psychiatric hospital.
Joke: Two Roofers in a Fix
Two roofers are working on the roof of a barn when a slight mishap means that they knock the ladder over. Fortunately, there's another way down...
The Return of James Veitch and His Crusade Against Emails
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These Guys Would Win All the Prizes For Bad Decision
These 20 photographs perfectly encapsulate what both stupidity and luck look like as people find themselves in dangerously dumb predicaments
And the Award for the WEIRDEST Subway Passenger Goes To...
Riding the subway is worth it just to encounter these passengers.
These Birds Have Gone Crazy! Somebody Stop Them!
Enjoy this hilarious collection of the funniest bird videos.
19 Classical Art Memes Guaranteed to Leave You in Splits
People are turning classical art into hilarious memes, and we can’t stop laughing!
Hilarious: The Wackiest Car Designs I've Ever Seen...
These car owners sure know how to make their vehicles stand out on the streets.
When Birds Misbehave, the Results Are Utterly Hilarious!
If you think that only dogs and cats are capable of being total jerks, then you ain't seen nothing yet!
Hilarious: When Cakes Go Wrong!
These 20 hilarious cakes are just not what the customers were asking for!
When Funny Signs Meet Epic Fails, Hilarity Ensues...
These funny signs, tags, and maps show just how much the people responsible for creating them had failed, and it's absolutely hilarious!
These Cats May Have Been Ninjas in a Past Life
Cats are talented when they put their mind to them, and this bunch seem to have developed some incredible skills!
Should We Really “Beware” These Cute Doggies?
These signs ask us to “beware” of these dogs. But we think you will end up laughing at them.
I've Been to the Zoo, But I've Never Seen THIS
I would have given a lot to be at that zoo at that particular time. What a laugh!
These Hotel Goofs Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Hotels are usually pretty nice, but as you're about to see, you will sometimes come across some hilarious bloopers.
Funny: These Kids' Christmas Letters Will Make You Chuckle!
Kids are known for speaking their mind, and are extremely forthright when it comes to making requests. Here are some funny and cute Santa letters from kids.
When Teaching First Aid, Try to Avoid Having Mr. Bean There
A classic Mr. Bean sketch that always makes me laugh, is Mr. Bean's idea of first aid...
Hilarious: Time to Laugh at Some Fresh Cartoons!
Forget everything today and just enjoy these hilarious one-panel comics by Mark Lynch.
20 Of The Funniest Spelling Mistakes You've Ever Seen
A compilation of the funniest and weirdest spelling errors and grammar mistakes you will come across.
Hilarious: These Dogs Never Saw it Coming...
When these dogs get pranked, they can't believe it!
20 Funny Cat Comics Every Feline Pawrent Will Relate To
Enjoy this cute and humorous collection of comics by Lingvistov that show what it’s like living with a cat.
These Signs Are Way Too Funny!
You know what time it is? It’s time for some hilariously funny sign!
Hilarious! Quick, Your Majesty, Avoid Mr. Bean!
It's hard to imagine why the Queen would ever want to meet Mr. Bean. I mean, I know he's funny, but...she's the Queen! This will not end well!
Well, You Can't Say These People Aren't Creative...
These 17 examples of nonstandard thinking intrigued us and made us laugh.
Hilarious: The Real Dogs Behind the "Beware Dog" Signs
Here are 12 hilarious “Beware of the Dog” signs and the cuties behind those signs.
These Funny Quotes Will Inspire You With a Smile
Let these humorous quotes about life put a smile on your face.
Ready For Fun? Time for a Gag-Fest!
This gag collection is sure to put a smile on your face today. What's life without a bit of laughter?
20 Hilarious One-Panel Comics Loaded Witty Humor
Artist Jimmy Craig’s humorous comics deliver the laughs in a single panel.
These Funny Restaurant Signs Just Made Me Laugh Out Loud
Enjoy this collection of hilarious restaurant signs.
Marriage Can Be Such a Funny Kind of Affair...
A few fascinating thoughts and quotes about the institute of marriage...
These Cat Tweets Will Give You Plenty to Laugh About!
Cats have been providing us with entertainment for as long as we have co-existed, and these cat tweets prove they’re still giving us plenty to laugh about!
The Best Husbands Have the Best Sense of Humor!
Married women will be able to related to these. You ask your husband to do one simply thing, and they take it as an excuse to goof off. See 10 hilarious pics.
Hilarious: This Week's Funniest Cartoons!
Our selection for this week's hilarious comics, there's a lot to smile and giggle about on this page. So if you need a moment to smile, or indeed some solid minutes - we've got you covered.
We Can’t Stop Laughing At These Silly Signs
These are some of the most ridiculous signs we've come across.
Classic Comedy: The Wacky Adventures of Harold Lloyd
Enjoy this hilarious compilation of funny gags by the master of comedy, Harold Lloyd.
18 Terrible Sign Designs That Will Have You Bust a Gut
Feeling down? Well, after reading these 18 side-splitting signs, you will no longer have that problem on your hands...
These Weird Road Signs Will Make You Laugh!
These outrageously funny street signs are certainly worth slowing down for!
These House Design Decisions Are Criminally Bad!
It’s hard to believe these weird houses actually exist!
Hilarious Sketch: The Great Piano Concerto
This hilarious sketch by a classic comedy duo puts you in the middle of the worst execution of a concert imaginable.
Hilarious Fitness Pranks That Will Leave You in Stitches!
Get ready to laugh all day with these hilarious fitness pranks that will have you in stitches.
Hilarious: Come On Ladies, Let's Poke Some Fun!
What is it with men? They seem to be from another planet sometimes. Well, instead of bemoaning our luck we can at least enjoy a good laugh at their expense!