What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.