What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.