What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.