What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.