What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!